RL-wise things are going to shit but only because Compass Banks is fucking us over hardcore. Everybody seems to be asleep or worn out from Homecoming. Did I mention that that place is absolute crack?
I have a maybe-kinda date on Tuesday with this chick named Cassi. I don't wanna go because I don't do the whole dating thing. I...
This is exactly why I shouldn't date. I wanted to say no, make up some excuse or something but I opened my mouth and "Okay, sure" came out. It's not because subconciously I wanted to go, it's because for some reason I have a problem saying no to people.
Anyone who was on my list when the Survivor Meme was going around knows why I have this problem. As much as I like to tell myself that I'm okay and I'm dealing it's really not true. I have so many things wrong with me and I know that most if not all can be traced back then. I mean, I can't even use the bathroom in public. I spent a year and a half in a dorm going at 2:30 in the morning because there was no chance of anyone coming in then.
I've got massive issues with touching and hugging and crap like that, and the fact that I can hug kygn or my other friends makes me happy as hell because a few years ago I would've stiffened up the way I did with James when we were dating. I just. Oh my fucking god dude I don't wanna go! God my fucking stomache hurts now.
I'm going to go and... not be here right now. Yeah.