BEWARE OF JENMAR. (clex_monkie89) wrote,

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I hate being sick.

Okay, so I just got done coding the Newsletter, right? And I just found fromperdition's icons. Dude, they are amazing. Just look. Y'all need to go friend her and nab a bunch of them like, right now.

I still feel like crap, BTW. Not fun. Also? I'm a raging bitch when I'm sick so if I've offended anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or just been an ass to them I apologize. I apologize again because I will likely do so again before I get better.

I spent a big fucking chunk of today working on The Laundry List. Phase two is done. Tomorrow I get to go and compare my notes with the previously seen clothing and then try and code this fucking monster. I need to figure out what I'm going to meta at the end of it. Last season was them doing their laundry so I've already got that covered. I think I already have metas on Dean dressing like John and Sam layering up so doing those again would just be very redundant. Anyone have any ideas?

Also? I'm kinda really bored with my layout now. I love my headers; it's just everything else that's blah. causette, remind me to poke you when you come online.

I also have this icky, icky feeling that I'm gonna end up not being able to go to WinCon. Chelsea's not going but she's still paying my con fee, so that's cool. However I have this huge feeling that either I'm gonna get turned down for financial aid (Because Mom and CJ, who my financial aid go off of, make a combined total of a lot of money) or I'm gonna get it but we're gonna need it for bills in August/September/October or something.

The panic attacks have been trying to come back lately, I can feel them start to sneak up and I can only keep them back for so long. I'm do for a fucking big one here soon. I'm really, really not looking forward to it.

And yes, it's three in the fucking morning and I'm wide awake. I took like, a two hour nap this afternoon and it seems to have fucked me sideways. Why couldn't I have just slept until like, seven or eight? Getting up at four one day and then five the next to do nothing but sit online all day is not fucking cool. There's nothing to do around here unless you have money. We have no car so everything would involve the bus, we have no money so it's not even like we can go to the movies or anything, we've gone to the store and Panda Express in the last two weeks and that's it. That's what I don't like about not being in school in the summer; I start to get kinda stir-crazy and it sucks.

And to add on to this extra special random batch of emo? I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy back here and I hate that I feel so fucking helpless because there's nothing I can do. Fred--one of Dad's friends, who was his cellie for a little bit before getting out--is talking with a bondsmen down here and said he found one who will do it without the money, Which means we don't need the $2,500. But we still need $25k in collateral and I have no idea if they ever got a judge to take the hold off of him. Fred calls every day or two to keep us updated and ask us stuff and I kind of hate it because I can't fucking do anything.

Mom's supposed to come over tomorrow/today to give Phil a hundred dollars to help out. I plan on clinging a lot if she actually comes over. Ugh, and I'm gonna try and ask if she'll still goes half on my knee brace with me. Not that we're ever gonna have $250 to spare since everywhere has help wanted signs but no one will actually hire Joseph. It'd just be really fucking nice to be off the crutches again. I've been tempted to try and just get around without the crutches or brace because I walk pretty good without them in the apartment and to take out the trash but... I just am really afraid that I'll be fine for about half a block and then my knee will give out and I'll be fucked. But, man, these crutches are not meant to be long-term. My wrists, elbows, shoulders and back are all fucked up from being on them so long again.

I'm still waiting on that birthday lunch from her, too.
Tags: emo, fandom: supernatural, fandom: winchestercon '07, pimp, rl: daddy, rl: idiot-boy, spnnewsletter, whining
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