Unfortunately for innocent bystanders like Mikhale, when I am feeling like this I tend to take it out on whoever I am talking to at the time. Partially because I want everyone else to be miserable like me but mostly because I am a gigantic fucking ass.
So because I was an ass I decided I needed to make it up to Mikhale.
PDO ficlet under the cut. Sam at college with his roommate and a friend. Julia and Mikhale are probably the only people who will get this at all or even understand it a little but that's okay for now.
Stanford-era. G. OCs.
It's a little past midnight and Sam's still awake. He's tired and cranky and his stomach hurts. He can't sleep and he's alone, if you don't count his roommate asleep in his own bed, and there's no one and nothing to keep his brain from wandering towards dangerous thoughts.
Sam wonders where his brother and father are, if they're okay.
If they're dead.
Sam's skin starts to itch and his heart starts to race, his breath comes in short gasps and and he can feel his eyes starting to sting.
There's a soft knock at the door and before Sam can make any movement towards getting off the bed Dietrich calls out from his half of the room, "what the fuck do you want?"
Light pours in from the hallway as the door opens and when Sam's eyes adjust to the light he makes out a familiar form; Eli, wrapped in a blanket and hunched in on himself.
"Can't," Sam clears his throat and starts again. "Can't sleep?"
"I hate my roommate and I miss my family and I feel like a baby. Can I come sleep with you?" Eli's voice is small and timid and exactly like Sam remembers from when they started speaking again. He's scared. Sam knows the feeling well.
Sam doesn't bother answering him, just pulls his blanket and rolls towards the wall. Sam can hear the smile in Eli's squeak of happiness right before he bounces himself onto the bed.
He see's Dietrich's look, feels the heavy stare and ignores it.
"Thanks Chunky," Eli says, loud and clear and obvious. "You're a life-saver."
"Shut up and go to sleep." Sam rolls towards the wall and offers both men his back.
"'Kay." The bed bounces more and Sam feels Eli's back brush against his, feels the other man's feet pressing into his thighs.
There's a moment of silence. Then another. Eli's stiff as a board and Sam's muscles are starting to cramp with the effort to not move.
The bed bounces again and Eli arm comes into view as he leans over Sam. Lips brush against lips as Eli murmurs, "Goodnight." Eli goes back to his side of the mattress and curls himself around Sam; chest to back, chin on shoulder and arm draped around Sam's waist.
Sam closes his eyes and breathes deeply. If he thinks hard enough he's sure can pretend it's Dean.