BEWARE OF JENMAR. (clex_monkie89) wrote,

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Just skip, pure venting...

At my Grandmother's now, been here since Thursday night and am going to be here until the 18th.

Oh yeah, saw The Trilogy finnally. I have to see it again, and I worship Peter Jackson.

In regards to Thursday night and why I'm at my grandmother's early (I was suppossed to be at Pissy's till Tomorrow):


I should really fucking know better then to start those types of conversations with people. Word to the wise, religion, politics, and anything to do with homosexuality what-so-ever should never be spoken about in public.

I realized too late and tried to stop my conversation with Ed (Pissy's Dad), he immediatly turns into a complete asshole and over reacts worse then anyone I have ever met. I'm used to being called names (Have I mentioned my issues with my Mother?) so I pretty much ignored most of it but Pissy was embarrassed and then he demanded I go home (To my Grandma's).

What was the conversation about you ask? Why I'm glad you asked that, I was trying to explain to him that calling a gay guy a "faggot" or a "fag" isn't nice. He tried to say he didn't mean it in an insulting way, but he did. He honestly thinks it's perfectly fine for him to call a gay guy a "fucking faggot."

He thinks he's okay with gay people but he fucking spaz's out when me and Pissy lean on each other on the couch (Her laying against me like my Mom used to do when she was in a good mood) or when I give her a hug (Because she's in fucking TEARS because he's embarrassing her so badly).

Also? I'm freaking myself out pretty bad over here because I'm starting to withdraw and I haven't done that in a while. See it used to be that when the real world would get too...difficult for me I'd just read or watch TV or draw and completely immerse myself in a fantasy world where I don't exist and where I don't have to worry about anything.

Now I can't watch TV cause I don't have the time and when I do it's nothing but Reality shit which is the exact opposite of what I need, or something I've seen so many times my mind wanders. Can't write or draw cause I can't think of anything to do and I suck at it anyway...Which leaves reading. I am not even kidding when I say I want to go back to Job Corps for the sole purpose of sitting on the computer and reading non-stop until I have to go back to school.

I'm not giving justice to how scared this is making me, this isn't someone who wants to read and can't. This is someone who was genuinly dissapointed after watching Spiderman 2 because it wasn't real, because nobody that good really exists in the real world. This is someone who doesn't want to watch a movie because when it ends then the real world starts again. This is someone who was really and truly sad after watching LotR:RotK because there wasn't another one to watch.

God I'm being such a whiny little bitch.

Yeah I'm just gonna...go read now. Yeah. Bye.
Tags: gripeage, rl

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