This just in:
My brother's hair is longer than Fabio's.
My hair is mid-bleaching right this second.
At the gaming shop my brother goes to his plays in Magic: The Gathering tournaments. You always have to put down your full name so that when you place they can yell it out and you can go get your prizes. The guy who signs them up always writes him down as "The Only One That Matters."
As a result when he places in the top eight, which he always does, the guy yells out for "The Only One That Matters." And then people always ask why he's The Only One That Matters and his response is always "Because I am."