May 9th, 2005

What's a personal bubble? - BOYS

(no subject)

I swear to fucking god I'm losing my mind. This place...

I can't take it here much longer I just... I want to go to sleep and stay that way for the forseeable future.

I'm glad I'm not the type of person who thinks about hurting myself--because otherwise this would scare me--but I swear to god man I am just so numb right now it isn't even funny.

When I get pissed off, and I don't mean angry I mean to the point where everything that I usually bottle up comes vomiting out, I hypervenitlate for a while and then once I get a little steam out I either do something stupid and scream at/beat the shit out of the first person who cross my path wrong and/or I get completely apathetic. Guess which one I am now. Please, go right ahead.

Worst part? There is absolutely no one to talk to until at least 3:30 and even then probably not. I don't have a mental health intern here because Dr. Cabianca, the head of mental health, told me six months ago that an intern would see me by the end of the week and I'm still. Fucking. Waiting. Gee, I guess it's a good thing I'm not suicidal or anything cause then they'd have a lawsuit on their--wait. I forgot. No they wouldn't, you sign away your right to a lawsuit upon entering Job Corps.

It's true, you can be decapitated by a bunk bed in your room, because Job Corps sawed through the steel or something and your family cannot sue Job corps because it's your fault for coming here.

I have like fifteen dollars to my name so I can't even go anywhere or do anything and because I'm such a fucking pushover/"So nice!" I have nothing to eat because I have no more ramen.

God I feel like throwing up.