October 18th, 2004

What's a personal bubble? - BOYS


Um. Okay. Here's the thing, I'm 18-years-old and my whole life I've thought my blood type was O-. My mother told me this when I was like 3 or 4 and I remember hearing the story about when everyone in my family tried to donate blood for my surgery when I was two, and how my Uncle Tim (Who like my mom was adopted and is therefor no actual blood-realation) and Bryon (The oldest bro who's technically my 1/2 brother but only by genetics) were the only one's that could donate to me and B was only 10 or 11 anyways.

I was just cleaning out the junk drawer in the desk and found an unopened letter from United Blood Services with my Donors card in it. It says I'm A+.


I don't know why this is affecting me this deaply but I'm pretty positive I'm in denial because a large party of my mind is screaming "They fucked it up! Holy shit!" even with the more sensible part telling me that United Blood Services probably wouldn't screw this up. It's what they do.

On another note everytime a doctor has asked me my blood type I've responded O- and I've never been corrected. So whether or not the card is wrong there's something fucking scary going on around here.

I feel like...What else has she lied about? I...I know I've had at least two operations, the previously mentioned one when I was two on my hip and one when I was five through the abdomen to the kidney's but...

I've always been "sure" that I had a third one when I was seven through the same scar in the abdomen to..."check" on whatever it is they did to my kidneys (Which is another thing that's kinda...tough to explain), but thinking back I don't really remember it happening. That doesn't say much though because I don't remember the one second surgery either (Yet I remember the first oddly)...

I know for a fact that she's lied to me about something serious about me before. She's mentioned on several occasion about the time when I was about two weeks old and I "just stopped breathing." I've since learned that she had taken PCP and then breastfed me and I actually OD'ed. The part about being lucky we had a parametic who lived across the street is true though.

Okay you know what. I'm freaking myself out pretty badly here and I think I'm just going to go lay down now and...try not to think about how fucking terrifying it is to have no idea what has and hasn't happened to your own body...

And Grandma wonders why I blame Mom for everything have issues with my mother.
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    Midget hacking and clearing her throat (Poor baby's sick).
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