BEWARE OF JENMAR. (clex_monkie89) wrote,
BEWARE OF JENMAR.
clex_monkie89

I just depressed myself with my own post

I know I haven't really updated in a while, but... I don't really have anything going on? My life still kind of sucks and pretty much all I do is go to work, sleep, and fuck around online.

Me and Yussie (my brother, for those who forget because I haven't posted in forever) saw Iron Man 2 a couple of months ago, and that was good?

I don't know, I don't like posting depressing things or posting about how my life sucks because I know it makes me look whiny.

I work all day, I struggle my ass off to get sales, I do OT, I give every last penny of my money to Ma and CJ and then I get stalked by my car company and late fees every phone bill because Ma and CJ prioritize my bills at the bottom of the list. So despite me giving them money constantly, my phone is literally an entire month overdue and I got a "Your car insurance has been canceled" letter from them because my parents waited until the day before they were going to cancel it to pay.

I'm aware that I'm probably a least a little bit depressed, as evidenced by the above and the fact that if I am not working I am sleeping and by how very little I talk to my friends anymore (because not only do I have nothing to say, but I feel like anything I DO have to say is all "Woe is me, let me bring you down even more by complaining about my mediocre life.").

And work isn't much better because now I sit in a corner with three people who are all friends with each other, and the only friend I had there stopped coming in a month or so ago and doesn't work there anymore now. So the three friends all have conversations and play cards between calls and I sit there quietly on my computer because when I attempt to join in on conversations I get ignored, so I don't talk anymore.

The best part is where I get to bottle this all up because I'm not allowed to talk about it at home. Why, you ask? Because apparently I'm too negative and no one wants to hear it, so I'm only allowed to mention good things that happened at work—which means I don't talk about work.

Ugh. Okay, yeah, I'm just making myself feel shittier and probably everyone else reading this too, so I'm just gonna stop here and go watch something.
Tags: rl
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